LA GASP! TEENAGE ANGST AND DRAMA!
by Tsuby
Summary: [TSUBY!] 'What's yaoi' :Ne, what does shounen mean?: 'Boy.' :What does ai mean?: 'Love' :Together?: 'Shounen ai.'...Silence...'OH! I GET IT' [CULT! CUUULLLT! IT'S A CULT WHO'S GOIGN TO ABDUCT ME AND SACRIFICE ME TO Sssllithiga!].:AU & crack!pairings]:.
1. DRAMA OF THE LOST SPORK!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN KH and other stuff. You know what I'm talking about. I OWN MY OCs THOUGH!

* * *

"Tsuby!" 

"...Goo ay..." (Go away)

"Wake up Tsuby!"

"Vive mur hrs..." (Five more hours)

"I KNOW!"

...'Yay. They left. Now...what was I dreaming about?'

"AHHH!" Tsubasa hopped out of her bed, clutching at her now soaking brown hair. Brown eyes glowered at dark grey ones which were glowing with mischief. "WTF YUFFERS!" Sora and Roxas snickered. "Nice jammies Nee-chan." Tsubasa grinned brightly. She was highly fond of her hot pink pajama pants decorated with green frogs and her black Tshirt that said in rainbow**: SHUT UP VOICES **OR I'LL **POKE** YOU WITH A **Q-TIP AGAIN**. Yes...**AGAIN**. Oh, and her pink, black, and purple monkey socks.

"Thanks! Now - GET OUT. 'Cept Yuffie 'cause she needs to help me look awesomer as in something Onee-chan kind of doesn't approve of."

Yuffie's short black hair was clipped back from her face by two black and white polka-dotted barretes. She wore a black tank top that said in white: I'M OUT OF MY MIND, PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE and a lime green tank top underneath her black one, dark brown khaki capris held by an electric blue and green studded belt and strappy white ballet flats. Around her neck was a black string necklace with a white Hawaiian flower charm and on her arms were flouresent rainbow braclets that glowed in the dark.

"FINE!" Sora said, crossing his arms childishly and stomping out of his sister's room while Roxas followed his twin, pouting.

* * *

"TSSSUUUUBBBYYYYYYYYYY!" 

"YEAH!" Tsubasa was jumping down the stairs while trying to put on her white and black stripped high tops without killing herself. Luckily, she was successful **this** time and managed to jump the last two stairs and landed over the family dog.

"DAMN YOU KUKKI! Lazy beast!" But she patted the large and old male rotweilier on the head anyways before rushing to the kitchen.

"Thanks haha!" Torii sighed as Tsubasa snatched the single poptart from her mother's hand and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before rushing out of the kitchen and down the hall then out the front door.

* * *

Tsubasa blinked as she reached the bus stop. **W**hat.**T**he.**F**udgecicle? "The frickin' bus isn't even _here _yet!" 

"We know. You were taking too long." Sora and Roxas said in unison, voices toned m-o-f (matter-of-factly). "Yeah, well...I couldn't find my damn green converse!...Hey...Selphers...THOSE ARE MINE!" Tsubasa said accusingly as her eyes went over Selphie's outfit. The green eyed girl chuckled nervously. Her hair was straight and in two pigtails instead of the usual 3-way curl. She wore a neon yellow Tshirt with all their signatures on it in various permanent _Sharpie _ink, a blue plaid skirt, knee high black socks and Tsubasa's green and white converse. Around her neck was a silver locket and on her right wrist was a jade-looking blue relaxation bead bracelet.

...I haven't explained what Sora, Roxas, and Tsubasa's outfits yet have I? Yeah, I'll get it over with. Roxas and Sora's hair was in their usual styles. Sora wore a red, short sleeved zip up hoodie with a plain black Tshirt underneath, black skater shorts and black/yellow vertical stripped converse. And his silver crown chain that he got from Tsubasa which she got from their older brother and two black/studded wrist bands.

Roxas wore a long sleeved white shirt with a unbuttoned black Tshirt designed with hot pink/blue stars all around, dark grey jaeans and black and red converese. A silver 'cross'-like necklace hanged around his neck. Simple huh? Oh, and a checkered ring on his right middle finger.

Tsubasa wore a pair of black jean shorts that had studs on the sides, a black cammi underneath a o-t-s (off-the-shoulder) long sleeved crimson shirt, rainbow stipped ankle socksand as I mentioned before, white and black stripped high tops. Her hair was down (reached to shoulders) but had a 'x' clip on one of her bangs. She had four necklaces: a black string choker with an abaloni moon and silver star charm with two silver beads, a fariy holding a rainbow orb on black string (slightly longer than the choker), a thin silver chain with a Chinese-like jade dragon pendant and a thick silver chain with a pinkish-red curved heart which she got from Sora. There was a plain silver ring on her right index and a Griever replica (yeah, yeah I know. But I really want that for my wedding ring when I get married when I'm older!). Underneath the right sleeve on her wrist were four hair elastics (dark green, red, dark blue and black).

Anyways, back to the story.

"Um...sorry?" Selphie tried innocently.

"...I'm one to talk since these are Kai-chan's high tops. SO! It's okay." Tsubasa smiled sheepishly. "Oh, the bus is here!" Selphie squealed as the bus which was labeled '1' and adorened her favourite colour pulle up and opened the doors. "Hi Richard." Richard, the bus driver, nodded his head as they filed in. "Bags are in the back. Riku put them there before I left. Think he got a ride with Namine and Kairi." FYI, Richard's Riku's uncle. Kairi had gotten her liscence last year but somehow it was her twin, Namine's car.

"GRRG, I SAY, GRRG! Abandoners..." Tsubasa said as she slumped sideways on the second to last seat before the very back seat on the right so her back was against the window and her left leg was laying out on the seat.

"Now, now, Nee-chan. Don't go all eMo. You can poke them with your spork once we get to school!" Roxas said brightly and his older sister grinned wickely. Yuffie sighed and passed Tsubasa her black, white, and yellow _Adidas_ backpack. The older girl rummaged through it but 'GRRG'-ed again as she couldn't find her beloved spork that she bought of the internet. "I lost my spork!" She wailed.

Sora rummaged through his green, black, and white _Tracker_ backpack and found an orange and purple see-through crazy straw then presente it to Tsubasa.

"You can poke them with this! IT'S AWESOMER!" Her blubbering stopped quite suddenly and she looked at Sora as if she saw him as her holy spork.

"REALLY?"

He nodded vigorously.

"YAY!" She snatched the plastic straw and glomped Sora only to fall back and bang her hand on the window as the bus lurched and began moving.

"FUCK!" Tsubasa shook her heand as her pain receptors overloaded. "KLUTZ!" Yuffie and Selphie laughed in unison. "SHUT UP!"...It suddenly quieted down and they all blinked.

"...Now what do we do?" Roxas asked.

"Um..." Sora and Tsubasa.

"Uh..." Yuffie.

"Er..." Selphie"

"I SAW THE WIZARD'S BAKER EPISODE OF HOME MOVIES!" Sora suddenly exclaimed. "THAT WAS RANDOM!" said Roxas. "REALLY?" Yuffie asked as in 'You really saw that episode? You lucky bastard!'

"YEAH!" Sora said toYuffie then "I KNOW!" To Roxas at the randomness.

"OOH! LET'S SING THE WIZARD'S BAKER UNTIL WE GET TO SCHOOL!" Selphie suggested.

"OKAY!" Tsubasa yelled.

And so, their fellow bus mates that were or that were boarding the bus had looked at the five in the back as if they were iNsANe as they sung the 'Wizard's Baker' until the bus arrived at the UN-holy Hell known as Education. The Educational builidings would be the Devil's whore houses and the Devil was..THE PRINCIPAL!

What was his name again? OH! Riku's dad. But what was his first name again? -Who gives a fudgecicle!- The voice in my head said. Meh.

* * *

Ansem sighed raggedly and his eyebrows began twitching; seeing the number '1' bus pull into the loop-knowing who was going to emerge. 

Any god help him.

Luckily he didn't need one. You see, Ansem, the principal, was stalking Kairi and Namine's mom. She had Torii's number on speed dial but there was that Gainsborough girl too. Torii seemed to be one of few who could control them. She could be very scary when she chose to be. That went for Aerith too. But they weren't the reason why Ansem was stalking Kai and Nami's mom but she had a restraining order. Did that stop him? Noooo...yeah.

He got off on that shizzle.

* * *

Um...yeah. You're all like: WTF? This was random and SHALL BE CONTINUED! I think I had to much SunnyD so I got hyper...WHATEVER! S'all good. 

Don't have to review but it's HIGHLY apprectiated. Flamerscan fudge off!


	2. FEAR ME DAMMIT! OR FACE MY Eveelness!

"MwuahahahaHAHAHA!" Tsubasa EveeeeeeL laughed as she poked Riku in the forehead with her orange and purple crazy spork...I mean straw. She lost her spork, right? He blinked. "Has she had **any** sugar yet?" He asked as she was now running after Kairi and Namine, brandishing the plastic utensil at them and EveeeeeeL laughter continuing.

"Um...she had a vanilla iced strawberry filled poptart for breakfast!" Oooohhhhh. So she hasn't had her CORRECT amount of sugar hence the EveeeeeeL laugh. And teh brandishing of the crazy straw.

"Hey. Where'd Roxas go?" Sora blinked at Yuffie's question. "I dunno."

"WE'RE SORRRRYYYY!"

"SO?" Tsubasa, however, stopped chasing them for the time being. She'd poke them later when they least expected it. YESH! That is her EveeeeeeL plan! "ROXIE!" She greeted her brother, never noticing he was gone. Heh. AIR-HEAD. There were four people with him.

One had red hair and green eyes. He wore a sleeveless black shirt, black jeans and black boots. And he had two black thingies on his cheeks. Another had blondish hair and teal-blue eyes. He wore a black shirt with sleeves that went to his elbows, black jeans and black boots. The next had silver hair and black (?) eyes. He wore a longsleeved black turtle neck, black jeans -sigh- and black boots. The only girl in the group had blond hair and blue (?) eyes. She wore a black skirt that was plain until the knees to which where it changed to mesh that reached her ankles, and o-t-s, short-sleeved shirt under a black lacey corset and you guessed it, black boots.

Did I mention they all wore black hooded trench-coats?

"Um. HI!" Selphie greeted them first.

"Who are they?"

"That's Axel, then Demyx, Zexion, and the chick is Larxene." Roxas said, pointing to them in the order to which I described them. Why? Because I'm LAZY! Plus...it's kind of obvious. Suddenly Tsubasa shouted and pointed at the newcomers "CULT! CUUUULLLLLT! IT'S A CULT WHO'S GOING TO ABUDUCT ME AND SACRIFICE ME TO Sssssllllithiga!" They glared at her. "We just like wearing black." Zexion muttered. Larxene glared and Demyx laughed. Mental note: Reduce Tsubasa's TV time. The Adventures of Billy and Mandy plus Home Movies are hazardous to her health.

"Uh, nevermind her. She's being S_T_**OO**PID." Sora said. "It's nice to meet you all." He added, grinning widely.

"So...no whadda we do?" Yuffie 'GAH'-ed at Selphie's question. "GAH! THE NORWEGIEN SUPER MODEL? WHERE!" If they were anime ppls...they'd have the mushroom sigh, big-ass sweatdrops and this face: T.T. "No Tsuby, not GAH! THE NORWEGIEN SUPER MODEL. GAH as in GRRG."

"Oooooh. I get it." Axel raised an eyebrow. WTF? What in HOLY hell was she smokin'? NUTING! Seeing Axel's look, Roxas smiled slightly. "No, she's not on anything. She's just having sugar withdrawal...which reminds me. NEE-CHAN!" Tsubasa's brown eyes turned their attention to Roxas but she didn't stop poking Sora in the head who was getting annoyed 'cause she started randomly ten minutes ago. "Yes?"

"Here." In his hand were some pixie stix and other candies. "Wait, wait, don't-" She glomped him, falling to the ground and she scrapped her hand. "OW!" Yuffie, Selphie and this time Sora chanted KLUTZ! Roxas finished his sentence: "-glomp me. DAMMIT TSUBY! YOU SUCK LIKE A...JOLLY RANCHER! YEAH! That's it."

First, Tsubasa got mad at the first three ("SHUT UP! YOU SHALL FACE MY EVeeeeeeL WRATH FOR I SHALL ATTACK YOU LATER WITH SORA'S AWESOMEREST CRAZY STRAW LATER ALONG WITH KAIRI AND NAMINE! Oh...crap. I revealed my EVeeeeeeL plan. PRETEND YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT AND I'LL AGREE THAT I'M A KLUTZ!" Yuffie interjected, "YOU JUST DID INDIRECTLY! AND YOU SAID IT LIKE...YESTERDAY!"..."Errg. NO I DIDN'T) then replied to Roxas' insult ("YEAH WELL...YOU ICE-CREAM CULT-ER! Oh wait...I am the cult-er of ice-cream...um...YEAH, WELL, YOU SUCK LIKE CHERRY BLASTERS! Wait again. I like those...GRRG! What don't I like...OH! LA GUM, ROXAS, L-A G-U-M! LA GUM!") Really, Tsubasa loved gum but utterly loathed cinnamon gum though she had quite the luv for cinnamon buns. Er...I don't know how those got into there. Really. It's not like I'm eating one or anything right now. SERIOUSLY!

..."Has anyone seen Mr. Stalker Principal-who-like-I-give-a-fudgecicle-what-his-name-is-cuz-my-second-voice-told-me-that-I-don't-need-to dude who's Riku's stepdad I think? I feel like recking havoc. No, Nee-chan, not Havoc from FMA." Sora sighed. Tsubasa giggled and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"You mean Mr. Ansem?" Larxene asked. They shrugged, including Riku. "Guess so. All of us don't give a fudgecicle." Demyx snickered and cast a snide and teasing glance towards Axel's girlfriend. "You might not want about 'im that way. She may be Axel's woman but she's secretly lusting for the old geezer. Really, it's true, it's true. I swore that I heard her in her room, moaning his name in her sleep."

Axel snorted, Larxene looked fuming at Demyx and Zexion sighed. "He isn't a stalker!" She exclaimed and Namine's eyes narrowed. "Oh? How could you know? You're new here afterall. "

"And how could _you_ know?" Larxene shot back. "One: she knows because it's her and Kairi's MOTHER HE'S STALKING and two: Sora-ototo just said he's Riku's stepdad." Tsubasa broke in, glowering at the blond haired girl. NO ONE snaps with her 'siblings'. Freaky stOOpid CULT! girl.

"TSUBASA! Stop right there. You promised me you wouldn't get into ANY fights on the first day of school." came a soft but slightly angry and firm voice. Tsubasa gluped and laughed nervously, turning around slowly.

"Uh...hehehe, hi Onee-chan. IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

* * *

-EveeeeeeL laughter- FEAR THE RANDOMNESS-NESS-NESS AND OOCNESS-NESS! And yesh, I AM A LARXENE BASHER! She's okay butI dislike her. Got a problem? Take it up with my second voice! iT SHALL sMItE you with a BROOM! ...yeah. And so, I shall face the wrath of Aerith. OH NOOOOOOOOOO! SAAAAAAAVEEEE MEEEEEEEEE! "HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPAAAAA MEEEEEEEEE" as Vashu-san of Trigun would say. BYE! And forgive me about Axel and his crew. As I said, FEAR THE RANDOMNESS-NESS-NESS ANS OOCNESS-NESS! Reviews shall be glomped. Or am I supposed to glomp reviewers?...kay, now srsly BYE! 


	3. CYP TSUBASA filler?

DISCLAIMER: I didn't do it right the first time. Even though I added 'other stuff'. Anyways! I don't own KH, the FF Series, Home Movies, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy (which now has new episodes in Canada 3), The Fairly Odd Parents and what other anime, Cartoon Network, Square Enix, other videogame characters, WB/Space programs like Supernatural and such that will show up or be mentioned. No money is being made from this but on a Godzilla movie I heard you could make money from fanfiction though I'd rather make green with my own original stories. I hope mentioning that won't get me in trouble cuz I was just saying something. I own my OCs however, and I will allow a person to use them if they ask. If you don't ask –sends a Tsunade look from Naruto when he calls her 'oni'- --Get my drift? Kami-damn this is long on Word.

* * *

Recap:

"TSUBASA! Stop right there. You promised me you wouldn't get into ANY fights on the first day of school." Came a soft by slightly angry and firm voice. Tsubasa gulped and laughed nervously, turning around slowly.

"Uh…hehehe, hi Onee-chan. IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

(Now, onto the actual chapter : p)

…It's been awhile. Now the above statement is a half lie. First off, I'm going to explain what Namine, Kairi and Riku are wearing since I realized I didn't do that last chapter. Okay? Well, okay! And if you said no then…too bad! –EveeeeeeL laughs-…yeah. This is going to be a suck-ass chapter probably. Cuz this is a really boring way to start it -x-;

Riku wore a black shirt with short yellow sleeves, faded blue jeans, black _Sketchers _and a magenta belt. His left wrist had two yellow and white sweatbands and his right had a purple and yellow Pikachu watch. Don't ask why. His hair was normal. Oh! And for some reason, he had just some light black mascara lol.

Namine's hair was pulled back in a low ponytail with a white band and she wore a white v-neck-ish tank with green, yellow and light brown diagonal rainbow stripes on one side, a white denim skirt and light blue _DC EMBLEMs. EMBLEMs _**in fall? **Who gives a fudge. No make up or accessories.

Kairi's hair was in multiple braids and her eyes had lavender eyeshadow. She wore a lavender and white baby tee, a pink miniskirt with a black and gold belt, a pink windbreaker and black and lavender mixed with hints of pink/white _Adidas _runners. And her yellow ball necklace. Oh yeah. Tsubasa's backpack isn't really whatever I said it was. It's really _High Sierra._

I was running out of ideas so yeah. Now, honest to the bishies I worship, ONTO THE ACTUAL CHAPTER!

* * *

"I didn't do nothin'-I swear!" Way to go Tsuby. That's so the right way to use English. I was learning about negatives and such in English this week. I could care less.

Aerith's hands were on her hips and her foot was tapping impatiently while her face was in a scolding motherly look.

Tsubasa gulped again then jumped behind Sora who jumped behind Yuffie who jumped behind Roxas who jumped behind Selphie who looked like she was about to faint after she found out that there was no one else to hide behind.

"Don't try to cover up Tsubasa. I told you: YOU + FIGHTS NO ICE-CREAM, TV TIME, FANFICTION, and QUIZZES OR ICE-CREAM." Okay, the capitals are only honestly to show the equation. Aerith's voice is still soft and scolding and whatever else I said.

No Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Vanilla, Chocolate, Coffee Crisp, Cookies'n'Cream ice-cream? No yummy angsty steamy haWt yaoi fanfiction? No Quizilla quizzes or watching stupid ass show that are funny because they're stupid?

"**NOOOOOO**_ooooooooooooo_**OOOOOOOOOOOOO**_oo_**OO**_o_**OOOO**! I'M SORRY ONEE-CHAN! JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY MY ICE-CREAM, TV TIME AND QUIZZES! OR MY YAOI!" Tsubasa threw herself from her not so good shield-hiding place onto her knees before Aerith. Yeah. She really is a closet yaoi pervert shipper but that's not in the closet anymore now is it since she just shrieked it at the top of her lungs right?

…

Where am I again?...I'll just explain what Aerith's wearing and go from there. Yeah, that's it. I have a 'yeah' problem don't I? My cousin Calvin said that I have an OMG problem too and a 'like' problem. I realized I have a rambling problem too. And a short attention span while writing **LA GASP! TEENAGE ANGST AND DRAMA!** as well. I'll try shut up now and not procrastinate.

Her hair was in the usual high braid and her lips had a pink shimmer. She wore a simple lacey white halter with red 'paint splotches' here and there. She asked Namine to do that actually since Namine made that shirt for her. Yesh, Nami-chan is good at sewing…(okay stop it. I said I wouldn't procrastinate), a layered cottonish-linen super light pink skirt that went to her ankles and light brown flip-flops. Her wrist had three silver bangles each and a plain black string was around her neck.

I can't believe I described something THAT feminine. I know that it honestly isn't THAT feminine but that's just my PO because I'm one of those people that dress as '_grub-dubs'_ aka just comfy Tshirts, hoodies, jeans and runners Anyway…

"I KNEW YOU LIKED YAOI!" Yuffie exclaimed while Selphie laughed hysterically before gaining a dazed look as if she was about to have and ecchi nose-bleed but this isn't anime. Probably thinking about Cloud and Reno action again.

"**Um. NO I DON'T! THAT WAS A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION!"** Gods she sucked at lying. And saving herself.

Roxas blushed and looked away from his sister while muttering "Nee-chan you hentai!", Zexion rolled his eyes, Demyx snickered, Aerith giggled, Axel blushed and snorted embarrassedly and Larxene shot a disgusted look at Tsubasa.

"What's yaoi?" Sora asked, blinking confusedly and tilting his head. Aerith giggled harder and Yuffie snorted. "Ne, ne, Sora! What does 'shounen' mean?"

"Boy."

"What does 'ai' mean?"

"Love…"

"So what do you get when you add them_ together_?"

"Shounen ai…"

…

**Silence**

…

"OH! I GET IT!"

Tsubasa blushed this time and whined _"ONEE-CHAN!"_

This time Roxas came out and told her to her face. "TSUBY! YOU CLOSET PERVERT!" He remembered that he caught her reading lemons about those two dudes from this show called Supernatural.

"SHUT UP! THE COMPUTER HAD A MIND OF IT'S OWN I TELL YOU!" It wasn't her fault she found about bell rang.

"Oh hey. What homerooms do we gots?"

"Leon's."

"That's right. All of you are in Leon's. I checked this morning." Aerith was actually his T.A. YAY! That way he couldn't total their asses if they were annoying.

* * *

Honestly this chapter is more like FILLER. I tried writing it out like three or four times but I just couldn't do it. That's why some parts are actual things I wrote down on paper and others I winged it. But you can't really tell the difference since any of you didn't see what I actually wrote. And yesh, I'm a yaoi fan now. Blame Bleach. Though honestly I think akuroku was the first yaoi thing I liked. Sorry about the stupid blandness and pointlessness of this chappie. I'll revise later and may redo this whole chapter in the future. Yes. No hyper ANs today. Well...ja ne! And try figuring out what CYP stands for before asking me. There are major hints in this chapter. You don't have to but it would be more...fun? Not really but since I'm EveeeeeeL C3. 


End file.
